Touch is Healthy!
The Lost Art of Touch
You might have noticed it in yourself. During the corona period, you missed something that you somehow had before. Even if it was just a quick pat on the back or an accidental caress of someone’s arm passing near you. Our senses are not only made to see or hear, but also to feel, smell, and taste.
Physical Touch - Sensory Experience - Human Connection
The Power of Touch
Young babies need touch to develop a good bond later in life. Touch creates confidence in yourself, others, and the world. When touched, hugged, and even during eye contact, oxytocin is released. This cuddle hormone helps to feel calm, reduce stress, lower your blood pressure, and even raise your pain threshold. It makes you more resilient, more peaceful, you sleep better, and you feel closer to others.
Oxytocin - Emotional Bonding - Health Benefits
“Connecting with each other in a playful way. Feel where your limits are and monitor them. Distance and proximity in a cocoon of security.”

San
The Challenges of Touch
But touch also brings challenges. It can remind you of painful or traumatic experiences from the past, making you feel more vulnerable. This vulnerability can stir up a range of emotions, from discomfort to fear and anger. Sometimes, touch can feel overwhelming, leading to a protective response or withdrawal. It’s important to recognise these feelings and to approach touch with caution and sensitivity. Understanding your boundaries and respecting the boundaries of others is key to navigating the complexities that come with physical contact.
Vulnerability - Trauma - Emotional Triggers
The Importance of Consent
Touch should always be about mutual agreement. Often, we hesitate to ask for a hug or physical contact, fearing rejection or awkwardness. On the other hand, many give a kiss or hug spontaneously, without considering whether the other person actually wants it. True consent means checking in with the other person, ensuring both parties are comfortable and willing. This is crucial because, in our society, consent is often overlooked, especially when there’s a power imbalance—like between men and women, assertive and timid people, adults and children, employers and employees. These imbalances can lead to unintentional harm, even in small, everyday situations—like being pressured as a child to kiss a relative. Reflecting on consent in touch allows us to build more respectful, authentic connections. For guidance on this, consider Betty Martin’s ‘Wheel of Consent,’ which offers a practical framework for understanding and practicing consensual touch.
Consent - Power Dynamics - Respectful Touch
